I’m doing something, or a bunch of things, wrong and I can’t figure out what. Attitudes are one thing, but behavior is where you get results.

All my life, I’ve made bad decisions and now (at age 51) I’m paying the price.

Can someone turn his life around this late in the game?

I’m doing something, or a bunch of things, wrong and I can’t figure out what. Attitudes are one thing, but behavior is where you get results.

All my life, I’ve made bad decisions and now (at age 51) I’m paying the price.

Can someone turn his life around this late in the game?

Best Regards,
Maxwell Jennings

Right.

“Winners aim for business results, Losers aim for personal kudos.”
Would this be that a winner does things that get him success in terms of money and solid assets (financial security, stability, house etc.) whereas losers only try to succeed at the things they personally want to succeed at? As in, say, two artists: winner starts an art business and makes money from his craft, loser just draws stuff he feels like and doesn’t get anything else from it? Or is it more a sort of discipline vs. whimsical thing? Like, the Winner dedicates himself to drawing something every day, the loser doesn’t bother?

“Winners develop themselves by helping others to succeed, Losers criticise others to make themselves feel better.”
Can a loser actually help others to succeed? If not, isn’t he stuck as a loser, and winners have to be winners before they can, well, be winners?
Or is this more of a ‘constructive criticism’ thing? As in, a winner would look at a piece of art and say “You’ve drawn the eyes a bit wonky, but that’s the only thing I can see that’s wrong, and it’s otherwise pretty cool” while a loser would say “Ha, you can’t even draw eyes properly! You suck! Just go home and quit!”?

“Winners talk solutions and take action, Losers talk problems and do nothing.”
What do you do in the case of problems that you don’t know how to solve? What’s the difference between “Talking problems” and “Talking ABOUT problems”? I had always ranked those as the same thing, and I know I’m wrong, but I still can’t see the difference; How do you tell the difference between when you haven’t found the solution to a problem because the problem isn’t solvable alone, and when you haven’t found the solution to a problem because you’re lazy? The only answer that occurs to me is “Ask, and it’s the latter if you get punched in the face” (note: not literally) – is this the only way of assessing things?

“Winners work to priorities, Losers never have time for things they do not want to do.”
This one is obvious enough to me, but my query is tangentially related: What’s the difference between being lazy and avoiding burnout? How do you tell when you’re away from your desk making a third cup of coffee because you’re not applying yourself, and when you’re away from your desk making a third cup of coffee because it’s a particularly difficult problem you’re facing and you need the break? If you opt to push yourself and not stop until you succeed, are you finally getting some backbone and combating bad tendencies, or are you being an idiot by denying yourself needed recovery? How much recovery / Work time DOES the average person need, or what would be recommended?

“Winners conquer fear, Losers quit when the going gets tough.”
What’s the difference between ‘quitting’ in the sense of just dropping it because it’s hard, and dropping a thing because it’s legitimately a non-viable task? I trained in karate, for example, for about fifteen years, but I haven’t been to class for about nine months; I’ve never been good at it and I’ve rarely enjoyed it, although at least one of the reasons I’ve rarely enjoyed it is because I’ve never been very good at it. I’ve stopped going, in part, because I need to find a permanent job and I wanted to devote as much time as possible to the search. Am I finally conquering my fear by cutting a thing I’ve never enjoyed, or am I BEING a quitter for dropping it, and if I only poured more effort in I’d turn myself around?

On a related note, this vast amount of tosh I’ve written: was this “conquering a fear” of looking stupid, or am I just a quitter who’s given up on figuring things out himself?

“Winners look for the truth in every situation, Losers let their feelings and other people’s opinions make up their minds.”
How do you tell when you’ve found ‘The Truth of the situation’, and how do you know that your feelings aren’t influencing it? If, for example, you feel that it’s wrong to go out with your friends and that you should devote all your time to study, is that the truth of the situation or is it letting your feelings and the opinions of your teachers make up your mind? If you spend all your time going out instead of studying, is that the same?
Is it that it doesn’t matter what the ultimate decision is, as long as you did what you wanted? So the person who wants to study, and studies no matter what his friends tell him, is right to do so; and the person who goes out no matter what his parents tell him is also right to do so?
If one shouldn’t let feelings and other people’s opinions make up their minds, doesn’t that render the whole concept of “Winners” and “Losers” moot? Any loser could claim that he acts the way he does because he’s just following this very rule.
Should your feelings not influence a decision at all?

“Winners create values, Losers just enjoy values.”
I don’t understand the wording of this one – what does it mean to “Enjoy values”? What is the creation of values, also?

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I’m done. Sorry, that was a bit massive. Apologies for sounding like a twit at times also.